Throwing in the Towel

 My family managed to find the time to return the Christmas gifts I'd bought on Black Friday,  commandeer my mother's jewelery, pack up the home I'd been renting for my mom and I, get the rent for that month refunded, and managed to hold onto my padlocked personal action packer, (to be used against me when the opportunity seemed most beneficial to them). All in the one week I was in a coma.  No one ever mentioned what happened to the roll of expended Deal or No Deal tickets I'd bought from the gas station down the street from where I worked. I had saved them all, because they were eligible to be sent in for the Second Chance Drawing for a million dollars. Ironically,  the gas station was known to locals as, "Your Store", the name it had been called long after they changed it to the new name.  Not the store I worked at, "Your Store". The tickets for their store were bought in small batches during the monthly visit from the Lottery official and then lo...

 Now, I'm confused. I can't figure out if Tanya Groves is Linda Blair, or if Samantha is Fran Dresser Jr, or if Mrs Green is Morticia Adam's, but Tanya is definitely Fran's niece. 

Espionage much??  

 Guess who the EMTs assigned to the same stand as me were.  This young man and Levi!!

 Chris' hushand was Patrick Prince from Filene's?! What the hell?! He became the Human Resources assistant manager when Lorainne got promoted after Moreen left the company. 

 

Can't wait to bring this pic to my urologist. Do you think the police will come to the office to take my statement?? Might explain all the UTI and systemic infection if the went through my bowels to sterilize me, right?  And I hope there is a vengeful God in the afterlife that makes you answer for what you did to someone that was only ever kind to you  and eager to please.   You made me hate myself because you judged me on what you thought of me, despite, what you knew of me. 

 Just one final question. Upon returning to Arizona, whom did the Arizona boys take on a whirlwind tour of my potential and parade around pretending to be me?  Even imitating my etchasketch like shaking, which everyone not only everyone notices but feels the need to ask me about or point out. The one thing I'm most self-conscious about, amongst a pretty long list of insecurities.  And boy did that person commit to pretending to be me with gusto. Who was it again??

 We have run out of food completely two months in a row, after my roommate spent 500 dollars on a kids mobility scooter made entirely of molded plastic. I told her she already got her doctor to agree she needed it and Medicaid agreed to pay for one, so if she submitted the receipt she could get however much they were going to cover reimbursed. She wanted no part of it. She said she'd rather just pay for it.  Okay. Now, she's pushing to move into a bigger trailer, when we been just getting by in this one. It's in a worse neighborhood and her main selling point was needing a walk-in shower, which this one doesn't have. Nor does the one she's planning on making me move all her crap into next month, by myself. So, she bought a 50 dollar stepstool to go with the other two she can't use already. This month she is also affording a wig. Which she plans to wear around the house. We'll see how long that lasts.  Put em in the corner with the treadmill, walker, and exer...

 I would like to express my dissatisfaction with the way that my appointment was handled I was contacted By the medical assistant just yesterday confirming my appointment And I checked in this morning using the patient portal and no one could let me know that the doctor was in a meeting all day today or at least during my appointment which I have to take the bus all the way across town to get to. I find that highly unprofessional that I would be asked to wait around for over an hour in order to see the doctor whom I had an appointment with. In the future I would appreciate 24-hour notice if my appointment time needs to be rescheduled or canceled. 

 If you can't have it, you'd rather no one have it than return it to me. What a loser mentality. Typical Tucson trash. Don't know how to lose graciously. Can't ever be proven wrong. It's so immature, it's sickening. Paul Gardner sure trained his mini-mes well. Lower than whale shit, losers.  Never heard of the law of reciprocating variables?? I didn't think so. 

 What's Kathy got going on with Ana Goodin, Brianna Hall, and my application for the trailer which I no sooner signed and submitted as kathy ran out the door for an appointment she said she wasn't going to all day today? I sense it has to do with my whistle-blower reward.  She's pretending to have cancer to fuck me over. I know Debbie Arnold is involved too.  It's not trafficking in the traditional sense, but the abusive aspects are the same.  Financial exploitation Indentured servitude Isolation Gang stalking Undermining my credibility Engaging in reputational harm Eroding confidence in my integrity Misrepresenting me to others Is that Nancy reno?? Is that Ana Goodin? Same name bestie, stepsiblings?

 Need I call the U-haul rental place in Madawaska myself, to find out who rented the tow-behind trailer? What did they do with my baby photos, which my dad saved for 25 years, to have delivered with the heirlooms, including the currency collection, to me. 

 Take a close look at Ryan's first driver's license. Issued before he turned 16. Look at the address, compare it to issued versus a post dmv copy. Marriott Starr Pass Security or HR has one.  Now, check mine out. CT 

 That should speak of my character while living with my friend Rai Logan on East Speedway I visited a QT gas station on my way home from work one night the person ahead of me was cashing in a bunch of scratch-off tickets that totaled over $70, (76, I believe), in winners and after I was done I happened to be in line behind him at the lottery machine once again after he purchased his tickets and left I noticed that he had left $20 credited on the machine I quickly selected two $10 tickets and went out into the parking lot looking for the man that had been in front of me to return his tickets when I had searched the entire parking lot and couldn't find him I went back in and I asked the clerk if that guy that was ahead of me in line was a regular and he said yes I asked the clerk if you would recognize the man the next time that he was in and he said that he would and then I asked the clerk to return the two tickets which had been left which I had selected for him because you couldn...

 Ryan never mentioned how often his family was out of town. I didn't know that their mail was picked up by the neighbor at the time. Who lived in Casa Adobes that suddenly became ultra wealthy overnight? I wonder.... I wonder if Elon has any clue? Or maybe Ryan's childhood friend, Kim Kardashian??? They accused me of notebooking too much money. They accused me of notebooking too much money at the same time. They accused me of being too many people's notebooking partner, but to this I say that given the opportunity, given the chance, i wouod have chose to not be notebooked by any of them. If I could go back and undo any single one of those notebooks, I definitely would because I had no say, no opportunity to say no, in being notebooked. It wasn't my choice, and for that I deserve to be able to pull a notebook on all those that have notebooks belonging to me.

  Is that Cindy Martin's little boyfriend, little Levi??? She looks so much like Katherine in this one. 

 I remember when Paul Michael Gardner first dressed up as "Harland".  He was meeting Harley's overprotective, (according to Paul, although in my opinion, just protective enough), father figure, and didn't want to be found out as his molestor. Harley was only 17 the night he hooked up with Paul and his entourage. I picked him up and dropped him off that night from his home, using Billy's car. It wasn't me that he went off with though.  After donning his internet bought wig, tight grunge band t-shirt, and his white eyeliner, he asked how he looked. When he told me the name he picked for his secret identity, I laughed heartily and told him he had to pick something else. It was far too obvious. I was skeptical and thought he'd immediately be recognized, but somehow he pulled it off.  Tell me again, how they did it? I hold the notebook on every society on the planet, for failing to notebook "Harland" as Paul Michael Gardner. How does one protect onese...

When you know, you know. And he's a fourth year law student. That's a two-fer. Plus, he thinks that equality is the foundation of justice for all. *Swoon*  

 I'm really going to do it and just go for the temporary insanity plea. She expects me to tell her every minute of my itenerary in advance and then is rude to me if for any reason I don't arrive home at the time she expects. She called Debi's twice looking for me the other day, before I even got there. Then she called and asked to speak to me to ask me to hurry home and then made a rude comment about seeing me in three hours, before hanging up.  I don't see her walking around, and taking the bus anywhere.  As much as I love pets, I hate, HATE, irresponsible and negligent pet owners.  I'm fairly certain that I have scabies, again, from her animals. She doesn't believe in taking them to the vet, and that upsets me so much.  Poor little dog is chewing her hair out she is so itchy.  We can barely afford this place, as it is, and now she's planning on moving 1 mile away, to a more expensive place, without ever even seeing it. That's ridiculous. I'm gonna ...

 Do you me a favor and check to see if there were any large quantities of prepaid cards bought with cash, such as Green Dot or NetSpend or American Express, purchased around the different intervals of the money supposedly disappearing. 

 Your whole methodology stemmed from the book I got got back from Dave who had been given it by Chris, about 8 years too late to be used in my senior year class at E.O.Smith. I had to spend my yearbook money to replace the text, 100 dollars for a very used copy which I got on the following week. I never did catch up with the class after missing the first week's assignments.  In it, they described the power of eye witness accounts and what it took to discredit one. It takes three witnesses with corroborating stories to disprove an eye witness testimony.  They knew that if they all said the same thing, as untrue as it might be, that it woukd be considered more credible than my contradictory version. They lied and made it seem convincing, by conspiring to falsify the same alibi. 

Overwriting...  MSdos/D:/local/excel/workbook/Alegria/SoftwareMasterCopy.MS-XLS Save as... E:  MSdos/D:/local/excel/workbook/Alegria/SoftwareMasterCopy.MS-XLS

 You stole my glasses out of Kathy's room at the Motel 6 on Ina. 

Let's not overlook the obvious: if any one of returned my money to my possession, where it rightfully belongs, it would implicate every single one of you as guilty. That is the real reason you are choosing loyalty over honesty.   

 I'm going to ask to be placed in protective custody, and if that means a jail cell, so be it. 

 The documents in question all lack accessibility. If you try to scale them emulating differing screen sizes, with the outline highlighting turned on, you literally can see what areas were pasted over.  Using an Apple device. 

 If Elon is Josh Green Sr, and Levi is Joshie, and Chris is his brother, then it was Josh Atchley that lived with my mom and I and his relative that molested us both is.... drumroll please; Christopher Ryan Ainsley. Yeah?

 

Everyone keeps overlooking the fact that Corey was the only one, besides Damienne,  that had permission to be living in my mom's home. My mom supported Griffin entirely during his stay with us and both he and Damienne tried to get me in trouble for what they had done.  Furthermore, there were two DNA contributors who were familial matches to each other. They both had semen in or around my rectum, without my knowledge or consent. I was only 15.  The last point I want to reiterate is, I was wrongly persecuted for one reason only. Despite having no sexual experience aside from what was instigated by my houseguest, which I reluctantly agreed to, and then decided I didn't want to partake in further, I was looked at in an unjust light because of my perceived sexuality. Griffin was just as much gay or bisexual as I was, having taken part in what he did with me, but because he was straight and I was one year older. They looked at me like I was the predator. I was the victim. Peri...

 Used to be married to Mary, daughter Nevaeh lived in Ryefield Condominiums. Exposed himself to me after he spent  several hours smoking Crack in his basement while I was babysitting on a school night. Never paid me. I was... 13?

 Three things: 1.story featured 8/25/2025 2. Event assembly was Monday, August 25, which would make it last year, but the distribution was Thursday July 28, which would make it 4, or maybe five years ago? Or three years from now?? And whybwould they wait 11 months to distribute them?? 3. The temperature at 230am is 80 degrees with about 50 percent humidity, there is no way it was 77 degrees at 5pm. You see, the first time I was kidnapped this side of the Mississippi,  I discovered I'd been taken to an abandoned postal village taken over by marauders,  called EMERALD CITY. It's just about an hour outside Tucson and I was brought back to civilization by two National Guardsman , after they discovered I'd been kidnapped to Chris' notebooking society so that they could commandeer my mail and control my communications 

I try not to overdo it with plugging The Wheel of Time, because fantasy is not for everyone, and it's too long a book for most to digest, much less maintain interest in.  Before I became a Robert Jordan (d.) fan, I read a great many books of many different genres.  Two of the most compelling books that I truly devoured are She's Come Undone, by Wally Lamb and Rose Madder by Stephen King.   Oprah's  Book Club rarely steered one wrong and She's Come Undone is a standout amongst the truly masterful selections of Ms. Wimphrey. It is raw and real. It has so much inner turbulence and self reflection that it made me fall in love with the protagonist.  She was relatable on so many levels and the summation of so many tragic events. While the traumas she faced were not common, at the same time the emotions she battled were easy to experience on such a familiar level. The author makes the character come alive and you'll find yourself thinking of her time and again, ev...

 This looks so much like Jessica and Frdericka,  I can't decide which one it resembles more.  Her and her boyfriend who worked at Matteess Firm lived in the Coranado Commobs Apartments just west of the wash.  Her dad has a construction company just south of Grant near Balboa Heights.  She got hitched a couple years back in an elaborate ceremony at Ventana Canyon. She was working at Kodakas a addiction treatment specialist. Yanek?

 Malicious compliance: The act of adhering to the letter, but not the spirit, of a request to cause harm or ruin. Acting in bad faith: Intending to deceive, mislead, or cause harm to someone, or having no intention of fulfilling a promise. Social undermining: A term for a pattern of behavior in which someone's competence is systematically devalued.  A double bind: A situation in which a person is given contradictory messages, so that any response will be a failure. Leading someone "down the garden path": If actions are not merely passive but actively—though subtly—deceptive, this is leading someone down the garden path. This means misleading someone to a bad outcome by giving them false information or direction. "Sent them on a fool's errand." This implies the person's task was pointless or impossible from the outset, though it doesn't necessarily suggest malice. "They were given a rope to hang themselves." This harsh idiom means to give so...

How does a thirty year old have 29 years of work experience? In my mind, I imagined a little boy, struggling with social situations. Surrounded by those who wanted no part of his alternative leaning lifestyle. A mother, so fiercely devoted to her son, that she'd do anything to help him fit in. Even, becoming the best friend he would have struggled without. Dress up turned to a secretive double life. His mother by dinner and his playmate by day. Best friends forever and forever wrapped in a innocent seeming lie. Where does one draw the line between a devout mother and a unhinged smother? How close, is too close? A fascinating delve into unknown territory,  that even Frued would have found perplexing. Acceptance imagined. Friendship forged. Enigmatic love.  I only wish Abraham could chime in on this one. If it weren't for Alan Watts, Abraham would be my favorite guided meditation.   

 Dave got me a special gift for my graduation. At my dinner party, for the immediate family he asked me if I had a spirit animal. I told him normally I'd identify with a canine species, but I had a somewhat prophetic dream just the night before, in which a white Buffalo had appeared to me from the dense fog. He almost fell out of his chair before producing a small statue of a white Buffalo with one and a half turquoise horns, one of which had been damaged in transit. 

I THINK IT'S PAUL GARDNER!!!!  NO TEEN WOULD HAVE FASHION SENSE SO AUTHENTICALLY LATE 70'S EARLY 80'S!! Plus it looks like he had a lot of work done to look like that.  Look how the nose is a different shade than the cheek, and it looked like he had a whole container of Kodiak Chew in his cheek. That's Paul Gardner's nose and brow, fr!! His weak chin, as well. The lengths some pedophiles will go, is mind boggling. Is this Harland?? Also, Paul got that shirt from Chris.   

 This all stems from the Letter I wrote to Ian Foster in London England my longtime pen pal who was my Camp counselor At Christian summer camp Two years in a row At Camp Calumet On Lake ospippee    In which I asked him for advice about the molestation that had been going on for a year at that point.  I knew that the letter had been intercepted because Josh actually showed me the supposed response which he had intercepted from Ian to me the only problem was the international envelope which I always saved with Ian's letters was missing postage which is not only improbable but nearly impossible because England's postage is even more highly regulated then the US is postage. years later I asked Katherine, my cousin, about the letter and she confessed that she had in fact rewrote my letter several hundred times omitting the part about being molested she admitted this in front of my cousin's wife Kristen Nelson Noyes. So I have no doubt that the response that I received was...

 Furthermore, the TPD officers, who returned me to the home of my attackers, and who investigated my drugging and sexual assault, all three made the entire department my notebookm   The two that searched the home for the unknown substance I said was added to the open Sprite can Ryan gave me and acted insulted when i hesitated to drink it, will be very glad to know about the amissing liquid Adderall from the prescription of someone who was at summer session during the search, but had been at the home during the incident. How many people got in trouble at the predatory school in London?  Did you know that prescription originated in Connecticut?  I wonder if James Howell was one of the classmates that got in trouble wrongly for what someone blamed on Paul Gardner?? Lastly, before the Detective, from ADOT, I believe, came to speak with me, and I mean, just moments before he pulled in the driveway, Ryan gave me my narcotic pain reliever, and a small Dixie cup of a ch...