Logic and reasoning

How many people can fail all 3 roadside sobriety tests , be put on handcuffs, get read their rights and walk away without even a warning?  

I was only 17 years old and I was working extra late that night at T.G.I.Friday's When I got out I went to my friend Brooke's place in East Hartford for a couple hours. There wasn't anything going on.  They were watching movies that I wasn't really interested in, and I dozed off through most of the film and another movie they watched immediately after. When everyone began moving around before settling in for another movie I woke up, and decided I'd rather be at home sleeping in my bed. 

It was barely getting light out and I wished everyone goodbye and told them I'd be back early in the morning, when I got off work that night. I walked out to my vehicle, and noticed as I was about to climb in that there was a cruiser, with it's lights on, blocking both exits of the small lot which was shared between several multi-family homes. 

Calmly, I walked over to where I saw two officers standing nearby and asked if I was okay to leave. What I meant by this was would I be interfering with their investigation by asking them to move one of their vehicles, so that I could leave. 

They asked where I was coming from, what I'd been doing, and where I was going. They then walked me to my vehicle, where there was a roach from a blunt that had been smoked the day prior in the open ashtray. Based on this evidence, they decided to conduct the three most common roadside sobriety tests; the nystagmus gaze, the walk the line, and the raise one foot and count tests. Confident that I was not under the influence, I complied. Then, they asked me to place my hands behind my back and they handcuffed me. At which point I asked what had influenced their decision to arrest me. 

The officer that had carried out the tests explained that my pupils had not dilated upon having his flashlight beam being focused on them. He went on to say that when I got to the end of my nine steps I had done an about face instead of taking a series of small steps to turn around before returning the nine steps down the line. He also advised that I'd walked the heel to toe steps very quickly. Lastly, he explained that I did not point my toe and instead just lifted my leg, and I when I counted, instead of saying one-one thousand, two-one thousand and so one, I had said, one-one thousand, two-two thousand and so on. He finished by saying that most people would have got in their vehicle and drove up to the cruiser and waited for it to be moved. He explained it was a bad neighborhood and very early in the morning and in their experience only people up to mischief or on their way to work were out at that hour.

To which I asked for a chance to offer explanations for their wrong perceptions. The two officers decided to Mirandize me before proceeding after sharing a very hardy laugh including snorts of disbelief. Without missing a beat, I explained that I was wearing colored contacts, which, would explain why they didnt see my pupils dilate. I went on the say that I had been instructed to turn, not how to turn, and they hadn't given a certain pace which to walk at, so I did it at the pace I was comfortable. As for the pointed toe for the final test, I was wearing Doc Martens high top boots which were made to support the ankle and there was not much more pointing I could do as they were stiff and heavy duty boots, which I demonstrated by showing the full range I was able to flex my foot. I also explained that they had asked me to count by increment of one-one thousands, and I'd never done so before, but I had in fact followed the instructions given, increasing by one-one thousand each second I counted off.  I went on to explain that I thought that it would be rude to assume that I could exit the blocked off parking lot, while they appeared to be in the midst of an ongoing investigation, and because of the neighborhood, I wanted to be certain that I wouldn't be interfering or interrupting at a critical moment. I also pointed out that while they may have not known others to be out at this hour, I was usually on my way to my to school at this time every day of the work week, which disproved their theory that only those on their way to work or those up to nefarious deeds were out and about at this hour. I also pointed out that when they breathalyzed me and took a blood sample they would see that I had not been under the influence and that before they finalized their decision that I recommended they contact their supervisor so that it was cleared by the chain of command and well documented. 

Dumbfounded, they looked at one another and one nodded towards me and the other quickly removed the handcuffs, while his partner moved his cruiser from the driveway of the parking lot. The officer removing my cuffs, and even apologized and told me to have a good day, before letting me leave, with the roach still in the ashtray. 

When I got home I opened my past due insurance notice and found that I didn't even have insurance on the vehicle. Oops.